THIRTY DAYS and a wake up and the time couldn't go by faster. I hate feeling the way I am and not knowing how to stop. I've gone into a deep hold and going to take a while to get of it. I don't want to anyone or see anyone for a while. I knew a year ago not to get emotional involved in this little girl, that it was only going to call heart pain, I was right. I guess with my back hurting and being depress and just don't think I should have to feel like this. I am at the point right now I am not sure if I want the surgery or not. I am screwing up any summer plans we have. I don't feel like I even want to watch Rory right now.
Want to guess when Mike might call me..... I would bet maybe my birthday if he is reminded by someone, or maybe Mother's Day since it is so national known. It would not be the first time I haven't heard from him for either occasion, he has a bad memory on holidays for anything so it's not a biggy any more when he forget.
I just don't know how all this start, me feeling sorry for myself one night and told Mike for your birthday why don't you get marry, I was kinda kidding caused I knew he would do it, then it went up hill for a while until her parents said being divorce for only 18 months wasn't long enough, it use to be Mike didn't make enough money, but now if it wasn't for Mike they would not have a roof over there heads. Anyway A's parents said if they got marry on my birthday they would never talk to her again. So what happen Mike took her side and saids he want a big wedding so it's time to plan, like I didn't know this. I planed our 25th anniversary party, it took me a year to plan it. Well Mike told me what was going on over the phone and I exploded. Now we aren't talking but that's okay. I told A that
I need my 200.00 back in fifteen days, the money I spend on helping her get her license to start a house cleaner business. One problem she doesn't know how to really clean a house the way it should. Ok I have written enough for right now.
Well day has gotten a little better, I at least talked to my son I still not over him not having enough respect to come over to see me. I think this is going to take a little time to get over.
Rory and heather came over so did my mom so I am feeling little better.
Tomorrow will be another day.
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